In honor of Valentine’s Day, check out this bizarre sight we found at (of all places) Borders a while back:

Pon Farr Perfume: Drive Him Crazy

Yes, it’s Star Trek perfume inspired by the Vulcan mating urge.

But, wait, there’s more!

Apparently, they want you to believe that Starfleet Medical has isolated the factor that made Captain James T. Kirk a 23rd century Casanova (in SPAAACE!) and have bottled it to sell.

Hummer Cologne DisplayAnother discovery at the mall on Saturday: “The Essence of Adventure.” I honestly cannot figure out what the target audience is for this. I mean, a Hummer fragrance? Does it make you smell like you’ve been driving in mud all day? Is it a bottle of engine oil? Is it supposed to give you that new car smell? Is it supposed to increase your chances of getting—uh, never mind.

Seriously, who came up with this idea? And are we likely to see Jeep cologne next? Maybe BMW or Mercedes fragrances for the more sophisticated market?