Kelson Reviews Stuff - Page 69

Located in downtown San Francisco, just a few blocks from Moscone Center (about a 10–15 minute walk), which was ideal for WonderCon 2008. It’s a classic hotel, and on my sister’s recommendation we paid extra for the “deluxe” rooms. Everything was comfortable, if small, and again the staff was friendly. Never got a chance to try out the Internet access.

The one thing I was really disappointed with was the room service. It’s hard to eat a mostly-done pork chop with a plastic knife and fork out of a 4-inch-high cardboard box. There was also a loud party in the room next to us Saturday night, but we were up late anyway.

On the plus side, there’s a coffee shop two doors away that was always packed, though we never had to wait for a table. The rate of people arriving and finishing was perfectly balanced.

One caveat: The hotel is located at the edge of the financial district, so you want to leave going uphill on Taylor or east on O’Farrell. If you go downhill on Taylor, you end up walking through the Tenderloin.

After we got back, my sister informed me that the Internet access “stinks,” adding that she “could only get a consistent connection by going to the Starbucks down the road…” I agree that it has “character,” though!

Never the Twain

In 2016, the Mark Twain was renovated and reopened as the Tilden Hotel. It closed “temporarily” in March 2020 and was used as a homeless shelter during the pandemic lockdowns. Three years later it still hadn’t reopened, and the owners had won a settlement from the city to pay for damages. I haven’t been able to determine if it’s closed permanently. The website’s gone, but it might have been folded into something. It’s still listed on travel sites, but they don’t have any availability. Yelp and Tripadvisor don’t say it’s closed, but there aren’t any reviews since Covid-19 reached California.

Note: This review is from 2008. I hope it’s better now.

I forget which one of us came up with the phrase, “The Worst Best Western in the West.” The sink leaked, the hotel was on default air conditioning (even though it was ~50°F and raining outside), the heater was a loud, grinding thing that sounded like a truck engine, the bedspread had cigarette burns in it, the towels felt like sandpaper, and the wifi wouldn’t accept the password the front desk gave us (which is probably just as well, since there were 4 access points broadcasting the same SSID, so for all I know one of them could’ve been a rogue). And the staff was taciturn at best. All this for the same price as the Cavalier.

Calling it a resort is pushing it—it’s really just a very nice motel—but we had absolutely no complaints. The service was friendly, the bed was comfortable, everything was clean and worked (including the free wifi). It’s right on the coast, with a wide lawn atop a bluff where you can sit and watch the waves come in. At night they light up firepits, and you can sit, keep warm, and listen to the ocean. Even the standard room had a well-stocked mini-bar. We’ve been talking about going back to Hearst Castle to catch the tours we missed, and we’ll probably stay here again. (Update 2009: We did!)

A rather disjointed tale of revenge with two main segments: one with Dracula, the other with the Wolfman. The Frankenstein Monster was in there too, mostly being thawed out during the second half, and finally broke free of his straps at the very end, when he strangled one person and wandered outside and fell in some quicksand. Yes, that was all he did.

5 stars for concept, but only 2 for execution. The Wizard of Oz meets The Dark Crystal by way of 1930s scifi was fascinating as a concept, but they managed to make it dull and tedious. The only reason I watched through to the end was it was Friday night, and I was tired enough that knew I wasn’t going to be doing anything useful with the time anyway, and I knew I could sleep in the next morning.

Just out of curiosity: how does one manage to have a solar eclipse during a full moon, anyway?