Category: Humor

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I’ll always remember a line from a play I was in during college. It was an original musical, and the composer couldn’t come up with a good line by the time he had to hand out the scripts, so he filled it in with “Come around and schmoo” just to keep the rhyme in place. Oddly, I can’t remember the line he finally replaced it with.

And of course, Firefox’s cookie preferences were labeled “Cookies are delicious delicacies” for so long during the beta period that by the time they wrote a real description for 1.0, someone wrote an extension to put it back in!

Well, sometimes dummy text makes it through “rehearsals,” so to speak. Jim Heid found live sites with various kinds of filler text. Not just the ubiquitous “Untitled document” (millions of pages), but samples of “lorem ipsum” filler and even ~250 hits for “this is placeholder text” (whoops, I’m gonna skew those results a bit.)

(via Scobleizer, who recommends using “xxxxx” exclusively for placeholders.)

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Nene XingThe Nene (roughly nay-nay), a.k.a. the Hawaiian Goose, is Hawaii’s state bird. It’s also endangered. There’s supposed to be a (comparatively) large population in Hawai‘i Volcanoes National Park, but we didn’t see a single one all week. All we saw were a zillion of these signs warning us to avoid hitting them. Maybe it was the wrong time of year, the wrong time of day, or they’re all hiding away from the road.

They warn you not to feed the Nenes either. The concern is that it will encourage them to hang out near roads where they’re more likely to be killed. This reminds me of another bird we did see a lot of. Whatever it was, they were either very stupid or very confident in drivers’ abilities to avoid them, because they would just amble across the road, pausing occasionally, making no effort to dodge the cars zooming at them at 35, 45, or 55 MPH. It was several days before we saw one actually bother to fly a few feet!

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Here’s a candidate for Engrish.com if I ever saw one… except it’s aimed at the US market. This is from the back of a small metal Justice League figurine:

Warning: Small parts may be generated

OK, I understand what they’re saying, it could break into small parts that could be a choking hazard. But the phrasing is awkward at best, and sounds like it belongs in a tech manual, not on a simple toy.

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When we got back from vacation, I had nearly 2 MB of spam waiting. That’s after all the spam filtered out by blacklists, SpamAssassin, etc.

I should’ve left it in Hawaii. They like it there.

(Actually, they like SPAM—I seriously doubt they like spam any more than the rest of us.)

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Driving through the lava fields of North Kona, you’ll see signs like these:

Donkey Xing Donkey crossings at dawn and dusk

After coffee companies stopped using donkeys for transportation, they turned them loose, and a herd of wild donkeys roamed the fields. They apparently picked up the nickname “Kona nightingales” from their, uh, “singing.” They’ve since been moved up to greener—and less traveled— pastures on the lower slopes of Mauna Kea, but the signs remain.

One can only assume the Kona nightingales were the inspiration for Surfin’ Ass Coffee Company and their signature island confection:

Surfin' Ass Coffee Company: Donkey Balls Factory Outlet

For the record: 1-inch macadamia nuts dipped in chocolate.