This sort of thing just goes to prove that no one has quite the same college experience, even at the same college. (In this case, the UCI School of Humanities, where I spent two years before coming to my senses and switching to a major I actually liked.)
It’s probably just as well.
The best line has got to be the grad student saying, “You’ll report me for your having sex in my office? ”
(via The Esoteric Science Research Center)