Category: Humor

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The BBC has posted an interesting article on the US Military’s plans for Internet operations. But that’s not what I want to write about here. What I want to write about is this accompanying photo of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld:

AFP photo of Donald Rumsfeld holding his hands out.

The article mentions that messages put out for psychological operations in foreign markets are making their way back to American audiences. I’m not sure this photo qualifies as PsyOps, but I think it does qualify for a caption contest.*

Please post your suggestions in the comments.

(via Slashdot)

*OK, you won’t win anything, but with luck the other entries will make you laugh.

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I found a 419 scam in the spamtraps that started, in typical fashion, with an all-caps name and address, then the line:

HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL REQUESTING

What made this funny (aside from the bad grammar) was the fact that the To: line contained over 1,200 addresses!

Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word confidential that I wasn’t previously aware of!

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One of the two soap dispensers in the bathroom at work has been broken for months. I think the building doesn’t fix it because it looks full. Over the past week or two, someone has started writing things like “Broken” or “Still Broken” (or, one day, “Kaput”) on paper towels and leaving them underneath or draped over the dispenser. Someone decided that this makeshift “Out of Order” sign needed an addition:

Out of Order -- Forever

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The Grand Comics Database* is a project to index the titles, dates, credits, covers, and character appearances in every comic book ever published. A sidebar on the home page shows the latest cover scan contributed. A couple of days ago, that cover scan was this:

Cover of Commies From Mars: The Red Planet

The image links to the GCD entry, which is still a stub right now, but apaprently it was printed in 1973 by Kitchen Sink Press. Here’s the kid’s thought balloon:

I’ll play along with these filthy commie invaders from Mars until I can get to my shotgun! I’m little, but I’m all American!

On a related note, I’ve just made reservations to see Scott Shaw!’s show, Oddball Comics, running in LA through February (hat tip: News From ME).

*I’ve found it very useful for finding info for my Flash site. Unfortunately it isn’t big on supporting characters, so I’m still tracking down issues myself to fill in the details. On the other hand, this way I can acutually read the stories.

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Fire Exit - Alarm on Entry

I saw this sign at a shopping mall food court a few weeks ago. It managed not only to contradict itself (is it an exit or an entrance?), but also to contradict available evidence, as the door was ajar at the time—with no alarm. About thirty seconds later I saw a janitor carry some cleaning supplies “out” through the door as if he were returning them to a supply closet.

And on a related note:

First floor - use stairway for exit.

This probably won’t be funny across the pond, but here in the US the “first floor” is the same as the ground floor. If you leave the first floor using the stairs, you’re not getting out of the building!

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Remember when the web was young, and email was just gaining popularity in the mainstream, and there was a slew of virus hoaxes like the Good Times Virus, or It Takes Guts to Say Jesus, or Elf Bowling?

Remember painstakingly explaining to people that no, your computer couldn’t get a virus just by reading an email, you had to click on an attachment? That images were safe to open? Remember when the worst people had to worry about from web pages was unwanted cookies? Getting a virus just from looking at a web page? Preposterous! And a virus that ran up your credit card? Ridiculous!

It’s sad to think that all those “ridiculous” things are now possible—in fact, they’re commonplace. Look back at that link up there. It’s Snopes’ page on computer virus warnings. Way back when, they were all bogus. These days, most of them are real.

So what’s next? Well, they keep talking about Internet-aware appliances, so a future virus probably could “recalibrate your refrigerator’s coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty.”