Category: Food

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There’s at least one company based in Greece that distributes authentic Greek yogurt in the U.S. The stuff can be tricky to find, but incredibly worth it. It’s very thick and creamy and doesn’t contain any gelatin or preservatives. The fat-free version could probably help a lot of people lose weight, as it tastes like sour cream and tzatziki made with it is addictive. Trader Joe’s has been carrying it pretty reliably, but as Whole Foods is closer, we don’t get to TJ’s on a regular basis. However, on our last trip to Whole Foods, they had it, right there in with the rest of the yogurt. And the peasants rejoiced.

Tonight, I went looking for it and instead found a sign: “Whole Foods Market has temporarily decided not to carry Fage Greek Yogurt. Please look for this product again in the future.” So let me get this straight: you just recently decided to carry it and now you’re putting it on hiatus for some unknown reason. What the hell? Or do I want to know what the reason is?

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Now here’s a prep time I’d like to see someone achieve:

MELON, PINEAPPLE AND GRAPE COCKTAIL

(can be prepared in 6 minutes from start to finish)

1 melon
1 fresh pineapple
1 c seedless green grapes, halved
3/4 c white grape juice
fresh mint leaves for garnish

Remove seeds from melon. Use a melon baller to scoop out melon. Remove skin from pineapple; core and cut into bite-size pieces. Combine fruits in serving bowl and pour white grape juice over all. Serve immediately or cover and chill until ready to serve. Garnish with mint leaves. Serves 4-6.

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Now, if you were to start counting from the time you finish slicing grapes, an Iron Chef (or the French guy who can debone a whole chicken in 60 seconds) might be able to do this in 6 minutes. But unless you’ve got the world’s smallest melon (what kind, anyway?), even I, trained by a mom who trained with Hawaiians in the art of butchering pineapple, would be hard pressed to make it in even 10. I’ve also noticed that this calendar seems to think it impossible to make fruit salad without some kind of juice marinade, which is a foreign concept to me. Is it a function of California versus the Midwest again? Something to do with having better and juicier fruit here? Or do some people just think all salad has to have dressing?

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Time to add an “outrage” category. This is just insane: A church panel has invalidated a girl’s communion because she can’t eat wheat (original article here).

The girl has celiac disease, which means any amount of wheat can cause her serious health problems. A local priest was willing to let her use a rice-based wafer, but higher-ups declared it was invalid — that if there wasn’t wheat, it didn’t count. She can either take the communion with a wheat-based wafer, or not take it at all.

For all intents and purposes they’ve excommunicated this girl because of a medical condition.

Good thing I’m not Catholic and the sacrament doesn’t involve peanuts.

I wonder if the church would be willing to pay for emergency room visits (or funerals) resulting from this kind of situation?

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From my calendar today, another appetizer that’ll make everybody finish everything else on the buffet first:

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CHICKEN BALL

1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese
2 cans (4 3/4 oz) chunky chicken
1 sm onion
5 drops Worcestershire sauce
3 drops Tabasco sauce
1 T lemon juice

Combine all ingredients. Chill until firm. Roll into a ball; then roll in nuts. Refrigerate at least 24 hours before serving.

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Atkins-friendly, sure. Appetizing, probably not to anyone I know. One of my co-workers said it sounded yummy, though. I’m wondering, what do you do with the onion? It’s kind of hard to roll a whole onion into a ball…..

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The ingredients list for what my calendar calls SPICY GUACAMOLE DIP:

1/2 c mayonnaise
1 lg avocado, peeled and mashed
1 tomato, chopped
1/4 c minced onion
1/4 c green chiles, drained and chopped
1 T lemon juice
1/2 t salt

This reminds me of the Gallery of Regrettable Food recipe for Hot ‘n’ Spicy Tex-Mex Chicken, which involves removing an atom of chili powder from its lead casing and waving it carefully over the casserole. Then I recall with thank-God-it’s-over nostalgia the time I asked our waiter how spicy the dressing on the spinach salad with rare ahi tuna was, received the answer “just a little spicy,” and subsequently spent half an hour attempting to extinguish my taste buds. (This was made worse by the fact that I was on Weight Watchers pretty hardcore at the time and couldn’t make myself eat bread to get rid of the burn.) I guess there must be people who think Ortega canned chiles are spicy, but I’ve never met any. Still, it’s oddly comforting knowing somebody out there has a more tender tongue. Maybe I’m not such a hopeless white girl after all.