Category: Food

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At the market today, we discovered that you can buy a bag of Chaos. Not only that, but you can buy a bag of wheat-free Chaos.

Bag of Chaos

In actuality it’s a brand of chips from the makers of Pirate’s Booty, but the name reminded us both of a time we and a bunch of friends started coming up with lists of product names based on abstract concepts. It started with a pun, “Diet Spite,” and eventually filled an entire sheet of paper. I think Jason ended up with the sheet, and may even have HTMLized it, but from there it fades into legend.

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Forget “Coffee is Hot!” and its variations. What they really need is a warning on iced blended drinks that anything larger than about 12 ounces may separate and require frequent re-mixing unless drunk rapidly. And those are the ones that are mixed well. Let us not speak of the ones you get at the café downstairs from the office, or at rush hour when everyone else in town wants a Frappucino NOW and the baristas are just trying to get through with the blenders as fast as they can. You know, the ones that end up like a coffee-flavored snow cone with a straw.

For some reason, coffee just doesn’t seem to blend with ice as well as fruit does.

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While cleaning the apartment this weekend, we found a long-forgotten bag of “Lazy Lizard” Mozilla Coffee. RJ Tarpley’s, the company which sold it (and donated a percentage of profits to the Mozilla Foundation) disappeared last summer. By September, I couldn’t even find a whois record. The domain name has since been picked up by a link farm.

It was decent coffee, and it helped support some good software. And I got a nifty mug while they were still in business. There was maybe half a pound left, but 12-month-old decaf coffee just isn’t fit to drink anymore, so instead of brewing one last pot in salute, we tossed what was left.

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A recipe for zucchini loaf showed up in one of the spamtraps over the weekend. It was one of the few that used to be real accounts, so I first thought it was someone’s long-lost friend who had a 4-year-old email address, but I scrolled down to the bottom and there was an unsubscribe link. Possibly some recipe mailing list… but one that hasn’t sent any mail for several years? Add in the fact that the message triggered Razor and the unsubscribe link hit the Outblaze SURBL list, and it’s beginning to look more like spam…but why would a spammer just send out a recipe?

Anyway, there’s just something about the phrase, “The Zucchini Loaf recipe is not for me” that I find amusing.

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Before leaving for Comic-Con, we went to Ruby’s for lunch and discovered that they’d stopped wrapping up their burgers and started serving them on plates. If you’ve seen a Ruby’s burger, you know what a bad idea this is. If you haven’t, these burgers are easily 5″ in diameter, made with 1/3 pound of meat or an oversized veggie patty, and generously topped. I have problems holding one together, and my hands aren’t exactly small. I had ordered a mushroom burger, which promptly and repeatedly fell apart, sometimes on the plate and sometimes on my lap. We not only told the waitress but also filled out the comment card, in pen, and mailed it. Since then, I’ve made a point of asking for my burgers wrapped and sending them back to have them wrapped if the kitchen forgets. Putting my meal back together in between bites is not, in my opinion, a worthwhile way to spend my time.

Well, the madness is spreading. We went to Togo’s the other day and received our sandwiches on plates. Thankfully, they were less messy, but it irked me. What chain is going to be next? Fatburger? Johnny Rockets? Red Robin? God forbid, In-N-Out? Or will they catch a clue that not everyone is willing to trade personal cleanliness for “restaurant atmosphere?”

(And speaking of restaurant atmosphere: to all you managers out there, the Anxious Clown should not be your business model. Just because not all of us customers are Wednesday Addams, that’s no reason to think we all appreciate perky waiters with 29 pieces of flair, or will order food we don’t want just because said waiters suggest it. Please recognize that some of us are (horrors!) turned off by overattentiveness, and would much prefer to eat in peace. We will come back, but please know that this is in spite of your best efforts to impress us, and that our undergenerous tips are not meant to spur the above-mentioned waiters into greater hyperactivity–as any true service employee worth their tips should be able to tell from our reactions. If they can’t tell, maybe they’re not as great as you thought they were.)

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Today’s recipe:

HUMMUS

1 can (14 oz) chickpeas, drained, rinsed well
2 T unsweetened peanut butter
1 garlic clove
sea salt to taste
1/4 c olive oil
1/2 t cayenne pepper
juice of 1 lemon
1 T sesame seeds, toasted lightly
fresh bread for serving, toasted

Put first four ingredients in blender and blend until smooth. Keeping blender on, slowly add oil and lemon juice. Stir in cayenne peppper. If mixture is too thick, add some cold water. Transfer to serving bowl. Sprinkle cooled sesame seeds over pureed mixture. Spread on toasted slices of bread for serving. Serves 4.

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I’ve seen hummus made with cannellini beans, hummus with eggplant, hummus with yogurt, and hummus with extra parsley (think of a cross with tabbouli). But this is the first time I’ve seen hummus with peanut butter. I suppose if you’re not likely to find tahini in your area, it would make an acceptable substitute. Still, shouldn’t you try to find tahini first? I’d imagine that stores in a lot of areas might be more likely to carry that than unsweetened peanut butter in the first place. Or you could just blend a couple tablespoons of plain peanuts for a while before adding the chickpeas. But the real problem here is that nobody’s going to be expecting peanuts in hummus. And if you have someone who can eat chickpeas but not peanuts, that could be bad.