Palindromic Proverbs

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What stats could we get for an Oompa-Loompa?
Sean, 18:20 2-Feb-2002
Mmm that's good stuff *belch*.
Yeah, I'm smoking the chicken.
Jason, Justin, 18:15 2-Feb-2002
I know what character Wayne wants to play: a gnome Transformer.
Can I?!
I thought you said "lesbian gnome Transformer."
Jason, Wayne, Katie, 18:38 2-Feb-2002
Jesus Christ, Wayne!
No he's not!
But he could be, with those scores!
Jason, Katie, 19:49 2-Feb-2002
Wayne has just rolled a set of scores totaling 94
Fourteen, fourteen, sixteen, sixteen, fourteen, fourteen!
It's the Palindromic Paladin!
Justin, Katie, 19:52 2-Feb-2002
Well, now they've had socks together.
Katie, 20:30 2-Feb-2002
Crossplaying is fun. I'm doing it by email.
Katie, 21:40 2-Feb-2002
Fine, as long as Brian doesn't finish the Hawaiian.
Oh, I'll finish it hardcore! I'll finish it so hardcore you'll have to pay a monthly fee to view it!
Jason, Brian, 18:09 3-Feb-2002
C'mon, Justin let me.
That's 'cause he was drunk.
Jason, Brian, 19:44 3-Feb-2002
We've gone from 'was it good for you' to walking in on things.
Katie, 7:08 9-Feb-2002
I need female friends!
Sorry, I'm not getting a sex change anytime soon.
Speak for yourself!
Katie, Wayne, Justin 9-Feb-2002
Floccinaucinihilipilification. I can say that, but I can't say "inadvertently." Actually, I just did.
Katie, 14:30 10-Feb-2002
How did I get Jesus, the Bible, and fucking in the same sentence?
Katie, 23:40 10-Feb-2002
I've heard of people snorting coke, but snorting Pepsi?
Kelson, 20:15 16-Feb-2002
So is Stacy in the closet or something?
Kelson, 22:21 16-Feb-2002
(to Jakob) So you're still staring at me.
Yes. And drooling.
Katie, Jason, 22:27 16-Feb-2002
He's biting the bunny, now.
Katie, 22:46 16-Feb-2002
What, "I messed with Texas, Texas liked it?"
Jim, 23:04 16-Feb-2002
Is this the one with the chest hair cravat?
Stacy, 00:12 17-Feb-2002
My name's Corbesont, but everyone calls me Kobe.
Gray elves can't jump.
Justin, Jason, 13:50 17-Feb-2002
It's downloading the new server pack — Mapster.
Katie, 17:38 17-Feb-2002
You find a dozen books, about half of them on necromancy.
Are they in a dead language?
Jim, Stacy, 20:35 17-Feb-2002
(to Jakob) Need to bite somebody? Look, there's Daddy!
Stacy, 20:45 17-Feb-2002
"It's amazing what I find in your pants?"
Someone please douse me!
Wow, Kiyone needs a cold shower.
Katie, Wayne, 22:31 17-Feb-2002
And Daniel has just spent all his magic points trying to cast Ask Obvious Question.
Stacy, 23:23 17-Feb-2002
This one guy said, "We're leasing 14 aircrafts..."
That's like, fucking sheeps!
Jason, Justin, ~00:15 24-Feb-2002
Oh my God, the puppet just killed somebody!
Lee, ~21:10 26-Feb-2002
I mean, He was the Lamb of God, not the Rabbit of God.
Katie, ~22:10 26-Feb-2002
There's no Scotch tape in the refrigerator, what am I doing?
Kelson, 14:41 3-Mar-2002
Okay, I believe in the power of green plastic wrap now.
Kelson, 21:55 8-Mar-2002

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You can do a P&S objection any time you want.
random person, ~4:30 22-Mar-2002
You didn't see that it said "White Girl Hot Salsa?"
S.T., ~11:15 25-Mar-2002
She has bumps in her shirt, she's bragging!
random person, ~2:50 25-Mar-2002
This is for Mr. Del Taco Robber.
P.R., 1:09 27-Mar-2002
You know what's weird, is that I heard that before, that he was dead, 'cause we're getting the mail.
J.B., 1:40 1-Apr-2002
She's actually got one accepted shoulder and one denied shoulder.
S.T., 8:43 5-Apr-2002
We've probably got a lot in common. She just has bigger breasts than I do now.
J.B., 2:53 8-Apr-2002
Do you get followed around by crazy white women?
In Santa Barbara.
J.B., M.M., 2:05 9-Apr-2002
At least they're romantic tax forms.
Katie, 20:30 9-Apr-2002
You're wearing a weapon in your hair!
N.G., ~9:30 12-Apr-2002
How would you save her tongue?
P.K., ~12:30 12-Apr-2002
Yeah, and I have to smile at work so it's horrible. My face hurts.
J.B., 2:36 12-Apr-2002
Whoo, [she's] got legs!
I've got tits too.
J.A., B.P., 8:47 15-Apr-2002
The other elbow belongs to somebody else and that's one of the things I was concerned about.
K.T., 4:53 16-Apr-2002
We should authorize a stupidectomy.
P.K., 12:10 18-Apr-2002
That's kangaroo. Like Underoos, only it's kangaroo.
K.G., 12:40 18-Apr-2002
It was so Christmas music! "Suck My Cock?"
B.P., 1:14 18-Apr-2002
Yeah, we're rich. [He] and I are going to Buenos Aires to have tacos on the street corner with a vendor.
K.T., 9:37 19-Apr-2002
Don't make me get sultan on your ass.
M.M., 2:13 19-Apr-2002
Don't ever let your shoes turn over.
L.A., 8:15 22-Apr-2002
They never had shit like that in my day . . . it was always gee, I hope it's a person and not a pony or something . . . yeah, I think I'll have a Jeep this time.
K.T., 9:35 22-Apr-2002
Wow, what a week. You got a job, [she's] in church . . . what is going on with the world?
J.B., 10:10 22-Apr-2002
She's dead?
She's dead.
Take the rehab off.
G.S., L.M., 8:38 25-Apr-2002
That's my saving grace, I realize I'm an idiot right away.
K.T., 3:27 25-Apr-2002
It's those hot dogs you're smuggling in your neck, man.
G.S., 10:50 26-Apr-2002
Jesus just told me the Kings are gonna win.
That's funny, He just told me the exact opposite . . . He said, "I was kickin' it with your homeboy Mohammad and he said the Red Wings are gonna win. And he said Confucius owes him some money."
K.K., M.M., 11:42 26-Apr-2002
He said to offer the 50K.
That's right, but I'm asking for 69.
G.S., L.M., 2:44 26-Apr-2002
She broke my tulip!
J.B., B.P., 3:32 29-Apr-2002
Medicine pizza? What's that? . . . Oh, lettuce and pizza.
J.A., 4:24 29-Apr-2002
No wonder there's not enough coffee filters.
Yeah well, if somebody ordered paper towels we wouldn't have that problem.
E.R., S.T., 3:55 14-May-2002
No, it's 'cause my hands are disconnected from my wrists. From that last time.
P.R., 4:30 15-May-2002
He'd be all, "Scrape me, scrape me, please!"
M.M., 10:44 16-May-2002
You'd look good in a burqa. We couldn't see your face.
G.S., 1:36 16-May-2002
Kites are so insidious, you know, to a culture.
G.S., 1:39 16-May-2002
How many #1 lovers do you have?
M.M., 3:15 16-May-2002
Where are we going?
The Angels play at Angel Stadium.
C.L., G.S., 8:55 22-May-2002
Fish and chips are for English people who like to eat out of newspapers.
M.M., 1:06 24-May-2002
I think the term is "dickhead" . . . That's the professional term.
K.T., 2:15 24-May-2002
I just threw him down the stairs last night, and darn it, he bounced.
K.G., 12:46 5-Jun-2002
Yeah, it's like Killer Sperm from Outer Space.
N.G., 13:09 6-Jun-2002
[L.G.], you can't bury the weenies!
random person, ~13:30 6-Jun-2002
I love drugs.
L.P., 3:35 7-Jun-2002
The audience has doubled since I walked out here.
Have they been reproducing anaerobically?
Broon, MooNie 8-Jun-2002
performers at the Renaissance Faire
You can drink out of your own neck!
Broon 8-Jun-2002
I'm over here on fire and you're licking that thing like it's a Tootsie Pop!
Broon 8-Jun-2002
Thanks for not putting your tongue inside my mouth.
Yeah, thank you for shaving, you damn bristly son of a bitch!
MooNie, Broon 8-Jun-2002

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Yeah, I'm a-draggin' today . . . my name is Puff.
R.S., 1:35 8-Jul-2002
Yeah, but I don't smell like berries when I explode.
Katie 2002
[What's Opera, Doc?] sits next to, I think, Citizen Kane. And Citizen Kane's been edgy about it ever since.
the conductor at the "Bugs Bunny on Broadway" concert 24-Aug-2002
I'm doing the Fleming.
The Fleming? Sounds like a disease.
M.N., E.R., 1:09 3-Sep-2002
This guy, I swear . . . I start and stop his benefits more often than I change my frikin' underwear.
K.L., 9:45 6-Sep-2002
I knew it was gonna be another one of those sappy chicken commercials... which sounds really stupid when I say it out loud.
Kelson, 12:43 7-Sep-2002
Elvis Schmiedekamp and peanuts cannot be good together.
Yes, two things that make me throw up.
Yeah, but Elvis Schmiedekamp won't kill you.
Katie, Kelson, 13:26 8-Sep-2002
Karma chips? I never heard of those.
D.C., 12:18 10-Sep-2002
You know I love being spanked.
L.P., 2:27 19-Sep-2002

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Hey, what kind of pill is this? Let's take it . . . Aaah, it's only Motrin.
D.M., 1:45 24-Sep-2002
Oh God, I don't wanna know . . . thanks for the snot.
P.R., 4:18 25-Sep-2002
I'm just trying to get [her] to pee her pants.
D.M., 4:23 6-Nov-2002
Unfortunately, the armies of the night have a day job.
Kelson, 07:54 18-Oct-2002
I think I just ran over a snail.
There goes your vegan license.
Excuse me while I go eat something with meat in it.
Kelson, Katie, 7:45 7-Nov-2002
OK, I'm done with my styrofoam, now what do I eat?
B.P., 10:09 8-Nov-2002
There is no way a banana is that powerful.
D.M., 3:41 13-Nov-2002
Just because she looks like me doesn't mean I know where she is all the time.
T.J., 8:31 14-Nov-2002
So when are you getting a dog?
I'm debating right now. I think I should find my underwear first.
D.C., D.M., 3:04 14-Nov-2002
I'm not sure what this big thing is . . . Ow! Fuck me!
D.M., 4:42 19-Nov-2002
If you would like to pull your head out of your ass, please press 1.
D.M., 2:18 20-Nov-2002
This is just the Day of the Penis, isn't it?
Yeah . . . you better watch out when you go home.
Katie, E.R., ~2:45 20-Nov-2002
I need a booty call.
I had one in Hawaii, thank you.
D.C., D.M., 4:23 4-Dec-2002
Yeah, there's nothing like producing the seed.
D.C., 2:20 5-Dec-2002
Are you having orgasms in my cubicle?
D.M., 2:29 5-Dec-2002
What does [her] pen smell like?
Same thing, probably.
It smells really awful but the cats just love it.
D.M., Katie, C.M., 2:57 5-Dec-2002
I'm just a freak.
You must be some kind of girl.
Katie, Kelson, 22:30 5-Dec-2002
You know, I don't think you have enough carrots there . . . what you need to do is bring a rabbit in.
M.N., 11:57 6-Dec-2002
Yeah, that's it. Now pull out the heart. (playing Tetris Attack)
Katie, 22:03 9-Dec-2002
My fingers are evil! (playing Tetris Attack)
Katie, 22:15 9-Dec-2002
Uh, what am I doing? (playing Tetris Attack)
Dying, dear. Pull out the heart.
Kelson, Katie, 22:30 9-Dec-2002
I don't know what the fuck it's about . . . All right, it's about fish. A lot of these songs are about fish.
Adam Duritz 10-Dec-2002
This song is not about fish. It's about a guy who's a dick.
Adam Duritz 10-Dec-2002
We had this weird combination of counting toad cakes or something.
Kelson, 00:33 11-Dec-2002
Are you the elf today?
I am the frickin' elf.
M.D., D.C., 12:40 12-Dec-2002
You gotta stay till the very end of the credits!
Why, do you hear Voldemort breathe?
Sean, Katie, 20:29 13-Dec-2002
OK, who doesn't want to what himself?
Jason, 00:36 14-Dec-2002
They had fifteen minutes to get a black shirt for the concert. They went in there and ...
We used it as dessert.
Donna W., Bob R., 19:31 18-Dec-2002
Unrelated conversations at a Christmas party
A car with a Bionicle-mask butt. Yeah, I'd love that.
Jason, 19:04 20-Dec-2002
My head would sound like Katie's.
Kelson, 19:16 20-Dec-2002
Do you want the cake, Stacy?
Oh, I think Jim's got one in his pants.
Kelson, Stacy, 10:52 22-Dec-2002
Reichstag perfume.
Kelson, 22:14 22-Dec-2002
If anyone's gonna toss my cookies, it's gonna be me.
I'd like to see anyone else toss your cookies!
Jason, Katie, 22:15 22-Dec-2002
What speed do you want to [heat the oven to] ...?
Daniel, 22:45 31-Dec-2002
I seem to have semi-phonographic [memory].
Katie, 22:52 31-Dec-2002

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Note: The Loscon quotes have moved to their own page.