Random Quotes 2000

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Comments by friends, coworkers, and others...

Spring/Summer | Fall/Winter


Why so few? Up through June, they're on the 1999-2000 1010 quote list.

It's not toxic, it's just a mess.
Photocopier repair guy, 17-Mar-2000
The broccoli will not save you!
Mike, 27-Jul-2000
I made up a really weird one about stuffed chickens or something.
Wayne, 7-Jul-2000
Not that I enjoy listening to your kidneys.
Katie, 8-Jul-2000
I just hit myself in the forehead with cheese.
Katie, 14-Jul-2000
What the hell is wrong with me? I don't want to swallow a penguin.
Katie, 17-Jul-2000
This office is psycho enough without the theme song.
Kelson, 25-Jul-2000
I'm not implying that you look like broth.
Katie, 7-Sep-2000
“Huh, we didn't cross Haight. I guess it must —”
“It stops at Gough.” [go]
Katie, & Kelson, 6-Aug-2000
Ewww... That's like petting a shaved weasel.
Stacy, 16-Aug-2000
Stop kissing the birds, Stacy.
Jason, 16-Aug-2000
Katie, just go do your hair dye thing.
Yeah, she's just gonna stand there and moan.
Stacy & Jason, 16-Aug-2000
From the department of Dumbass, this is your president speaking...
Stacy, 16-Aug-2000
You need a disposable thingy... I like disposable thingies.
Ah, yes, disposable thingies... for my stuff.
Katie & Stacy, 16-Aug-2000
Soft as a shaved weasel's butt.
Stacy, 16-Aug-2000
I didn't know my dingaling made it so high on the charts.
Katie, 16-Aug-2000
See, it's not Darwin eating Jesus.
Jason, 16-Aug-2000
“We could do this all night”
“What, sit here?”
“No, me and Wayne sit here wiggling our eyebrows at each other.”
Wayne, Katie, & Jason, 14-Sep-2000

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Trollocs in striped pajamas!
Kelson & Katie (simultaneously), 29-Sep-2000
Nah, nah, boot to the bonnet.
Jason, 12-Oct-2000
That was a piece of flying egg.
Katie, 21-Oct-2000
You can't absorb beer through your head.
Katie, 21-Oct-2000
Let's all sit around and pretend to be Chewbacca.
Kelson, 2-Nov-2000
“Ya ha, evil spider woman, I have captured you by the short rabbits and will now deliver you to your —” shit!
Katie, 16-Nov-2000
“Dangerous Mimes” (new movie idea)
Kelson, 16-Nov-2000
I love your corners, Kelson
Jason, 16-Nov-2000
“In a cavern, in a canyon, excavating —” crap!
Kelson, 18-Nov-2000
Goatly heroes go to the bathroom?
Stacy, 18-Nov-2000
Yes, I have one for Conversational Klingon.
Katie, 25-Nov-2000, 90% asleep. (context)
“I am a goat-kissing hamburger.”
“How? hamburgers don't have lips!”
Katie & Kelson, 7-Dec-2000 (1:00 am)
I really ought to get a picture before he knocks Death over.
Kelson, 11-Dec-2000
W: “Maybe they decided to become lovers on the way.”
Ka: “Well, yeah... maybe they tried it and decided they... didn't fit... that sounded bad!”
(general laughter)
Ka: “Okay, okay... they didn't click!”
Ke: “There shouldn't be a click.”
Ka: “Oh, great, now you've got me thinking about interesting noises.”
Wayne, Katie, & Kelson, 14-Dec-2000
All hail the bathtub!
Jason, 14-Dec-2000
“So the pizza is sprawled out on the bed. Or something like that.”
“Writing that down...”
“And it could use some Ny-Quil.”
Kelson & Katie, 20-Dec-2000 (12:30 am)
Sorry, that was my fast mint.
Kelson, 22-Dec-2000
If Shadows love sausage... sorry, “Shadow worship sausage...”
Jason, 22-Dec-2000
I don't mind having leaky turtles.
Katie, 24-Dec-2000
Whoa, it's like I have leaf veins on my arm.
Katie, 25-Dec-2000
Yeah, I think if you spread a taco over a computer, it'd cover a lot of area.
Katie, 26-Dec-2000

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What’s this about Conversational Klingon?

[Picture of Katie as a Centauri]

Katie and I (Kelson) were driving back from Loscon, an annual Los Angeles-area science fiction convention. (We have quotes from the con, too.) Katie had stayed up late the night before finishing her hall costume, a Centauri lady from Babylon 5, and we had both had gotten up early that morning to put on the costume and makeup. Centauri women shave their heads except for a pony tail, so she had to put on a bald cap and blend it in with her skin tone. Even with practice, this took a while.

So she’s sleeping in the passenger seat as I’m driving down the I-5, there’s only the two of us in the car, and I’m not listening to the radio. It’s totally quiet except for the sound of traffic. Then, out of nowhere, I hear her say — quite distinctly — “Yes, I have one for Conversational Klingon.”

I said something like, “Huh?” At which point she woke up and said “Did I say that out loud?” It turned out someone in a dream she’d been having had asked her about language tapes.

Incidentally, she won an award for the costume.

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